Who is that?!?!

Josiah asked to watch our wedding video earlier today. During the montage of all of us walking down the aisle, Mae asked quite blatantly: 

WHO IS THAT?!?! 

Who was she pointing to you might ask? 

Her own father.

She had no clue it was Cameron. This might as well have been some short-haired (heavily "banged"  mind you) stranger that her mother is marrying in the video. 

This gave me a good laugh and I had to share a couple of comparison pics. :)

Waiting in line for Conan. Feb. 2011.

Getting our marriage on. October 2005. 

Central Park on our Honeymoon. 

She & Him Concert. 2010.

Engagement pics. June 2005.

Date night. July 2011.

A Vignette of the Gospel

^46(CA) And they came to Jericho. And^(CB) as he was leaving Jericho with his disciples and a great crowd, Bartimaeus,^(CC) a blind beggar, the son of Timaeus, was sitting by the roadside. ⁴⁷And when he heard that it was^(CD) Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out and say, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" ⁴⁸And many^(CE) rebuked him, telling him to be silent. But he cried out all the more, "Son of David, have mercy on me!" ⁴⁹And Jesus stopped and said, "Call him." And they called the blind man, saying to him,^(CF) "Take heart. Get up; he is calling you." ⁵⁰And throwing off his^(CG) cloak, he sprang up and came to Jesus. ⁵¹And Jesus said to him, ^(CH) "What do you want me to do for you?" And the blind man said to him,^(CI) "Rabbi, let me recover my sight." ⁵²And Jesus said to him, "Go your way;^(CJ) your faith has^(CK) made you well." And immediately he recovered his sight and followed him on the way.

- Mark 10:46-52

Jesus heard this one voice and knew this one man's heart out of all the crowd. He was someone that others had deemed "not worthy". He was an outcast, a burden & not worth anyone's time. While man found him unworthy, the Son of God found him faithful and showed him love by healing. 

 In the city you can become very, very numb to all the marginalized people. There are homeless with cardboard signs on every corner, many people with special needs or abused women and children. It could overwhelm your heart and leave you feeling hopeless. 

 Being a part of Reality LA is about loving the city the way Jesus loves the city. One of the best things I've heard about describing the need for ministry in the city is that a city has a soul because it is full of souls. All of the people I see or avoid eye contact with when they approach my car at a red light are children of God. Jesus loves them just as dearly as he loves me. 

 Only a a verse or two back from this story of the blind man is the astounding revelation that Jesus gives about how we're supposed to live our lives. 

  

But whoever would be great among you must be your servants, and whoever be first among you must be slave. - Mark 10:43b-44

I read in one commentary that these few verses are "a vignette of the entire gospel"*. Jesus, who is God became a slave to all of us. He made the ultimate sacrifice. If He did that, couldn't I give a small blessing to those society deems "unworthy"? Throughout the Gospel we see Jesus going to those who need him the most: the disenfranchised. He pays special attention to the Samaritan woman, the woman caught in adultery, children (see my previous post), the crippled, the blind, the lepers & the demon possessed. This theme is jumping out to me more than ever as we read through Mark. Even as Jesus marches towards Jerusalem "going with unfaltering steps towards the cross"*, he stops along the way to reach out to those who have been forgotten. Even in the midst of our own trials and stress, we must stop along the way to give a voice to the voiceless, bread to the hungry & comfort to the sick. 
 I was completely convicted last night to do a very simple thing. Keep granola bars & water bottles in my car, somewhere within reach to give to those in need. There are at least one or two cardboard signs on every corner. In fact I've started recognizing faces on freeway off-ramps that I use frequently. I asked a few people in my Bible Study to make sure and ask me if I purchased the two items. I want accountability. We all know what road is paved with good intentions, right? ;) 
Don't overlook people, look at them the way God does. In the brightest light of love. There's always this little bit of Hebrews 13 to remind us that we never know who we are helping:

 ¹Let^(A) brotherly love continue. ^2(B) Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby^(C) some have entertained angels unawares. ^3(D) Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body. ^4(E

Today make sure that you let brotherly love continue. There is always someone who needs something, even if it's just a kind listener, a simple hug or a burger and coke. If Jesus could sacrifice everything for you, you can sacrifice your time, money or food. 


*Charles R. Erdman, Believer's Bible Commentary

Hear You Me: Prom, Glee & the Dude.

I just finished the newest Glee episode. It was about their prom. Towards the end, when you see everyone dancing, I got a little nostalgic. Slightly. But only in the "blinded by 10 years distance" sort of nostalgic.
Let me do some explaining.


 For whatever reason in my brain as a young teenage girl, I thought it was still 1955. I, being the idealist I was, thought that if at the age of 16 I could have a steady boyfriend, my little life would be complete. I would eventually go to college and marry this steady boyfriend, thus making him my um, steady husband.

Dating: In my brain.

You cannot imagine my surprise when 4 days after my 16th birthday, I was asked to be someone's girlfriend. Quite simply, I was pursued. I had never been pursued, I had only ever had a crush (more on that in a moment). I was pursued to the point of this person getting detention for ditching classes to come see me. Yes, I was blinded. I thought it was perfect. I thought we were the match made in heaven. A few of my friends warned me, but I could not be swayed. My knight in shining armor had arrived.
 We liked the same stuff, held the same basic values, had a similar sense of humor. When I showed his picture to certain friends, their eyebrows went up. He was so not my type they said. One of my friends asked me if his name was Blane. Close, but no cigar.

This is Blane. Yes, I should have gone with Duckie. I know that now.

He was the jock, I was the ska kid/punk rock girl? I don't know what I was. I was 16. Hello Valley Girl 2000! You see, I had always had eyes for this one dude. He was older, he had dark hair, played guitar etc. He never liked me. I had pined over him for 2 years. Gee, I wonder why he didn't like me in my light blue dickies, Five Iron Frenzy shirt & fake cat eye glasses? I can't imagine... But then with boyfriend, these were the things he liked. I was a bit off and for whatever God-forsaken reason, that worked for him. 

A year after we started dating, we had our first prom. Gee, it was swell. It was held at the Gene Autrey Museum, which I now drive by every time I go to the Doctor's office. It was beautiful. I had a big white pouffy dress, these weird clear shoes (no, they were not stripper heels) & super curly hair. I cannot for the life of me remember the name of this prom. All of my stuff is put away too, so I can't look it up. 

It was like this maybe? The theme was "You're Delusional". 

We danced the night away, went home in the limo, it was fantastic. I don't remember so much about this prom, I remember seeing friends, dancing, eating, gum getting confiscated, etc. Magical. So freakin' magical.

Fast forward to Senior year. This perfect boyfriend was done. He was going to college, I was staying in town and going to not "real college" (his words from when we broke up, not mine. Sorry for the spoiler). He had already found another girl at his future schooling institution. I did not know this at the time. He was cheating on me. That would explain the distinct odor of indifference anytime we were together. It would also explain the one compliment I received during that Prom night: "Your hair looks nice." Gee, thanks. You're sweet. Never-mind the replica of Elizabeth Taylor's Place in the Sun dress that I'm wearing. My Mother only put her whole heart into it. But yes, my hair looks fantastic. 

See, I told you I thought it was the 50's.

Montgomery, you would have been a better date. 

 Our prom was held on a backlot of Universal Studios.  You know the dancing scene in Austin Powers that's suppose to be on a London street? That's where my Prom was held (for you more TV savvy folks, it was Wee Britain from Arrested Development). It was beautiful. You could walk out and see the lights of LA. It should have been the best of everything ever. Shoulda, woulda, coulda. There is one fleeting moment that I hold onto, it didn't come from boyfriend, it came from one of the cutest guys in school. He sweetly took me aside, whispered in my ear that I looked beautiful. When I think about my senior prom, I think about that one moment. It made my night. I'm sure he doesn't know that. He won't ever know that. I doubt he even remembers me. That moment was replayed in my head hundreds of times. A small comfort in the middle of my high school dream fading. The last dance? Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World. That part was nice.

 That night, I was treated to lackluster dancing, impersonal talking, him focusing on other girls & finally, him leaving me at home to take another girl home. Let me clarify, it wasn't her fault. Nothing happened. On her end, she just simply needed a ride home. I don't think it was that cut and dry in his book though. 

Yes, you read that right. My boyfriend left me on Prom night to go take another girl home. Hello doormat Leigh!

   I watched an episode of "The Office" last night and Pam describes her worst date ever. She describes that she was taken to a hockey game, went to the bathroom and was promptly left by her date and his brother. They had to come back and get her. Jim quickly realizes that the story is about her current fiance, Roy. Who would still date someone like that? Much less want to marry them? Oh, just me. Pam, I relate to you. 

I never had a cute guy pining for me though. Mugging at the camera and all.

I wanted so badly for my ideal to work that I was willing to be treated poorly, walked on and whatever else.  It had to work! Personally, now I know it came down to pride. My pride. I had my ideal and I couldn't sacrifice it. I even falsely believed that God wanted us together. Amazing how your brain works. How silly your heart gets.

Before you go off thinking that high school boyfriend was all bad, he wasn't. He made some poor choices and wasn't honest, however, he was fantastic at first. I will give him that. I will also give him kudos for those tapes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 he recorded. I can also say it was fun winning speech trophies with him. I guess there were other okay dances. We were also both into black and white checkers. Ska was the soundtrack of our lives. Oi-Oi-Oi, then.

TORGO=LOVE.

The point of all this is that there's this idea that you shouldn't change anything about your past, you shouldn't want to go back. It's what made you who you are. Let me tell you something: If I could go warn myself, I would. I would say to enjoy high school. Don't have a steady boyfriend. Be with friends. I alienated certain friends and bothered others by being so dead-set on having a high school boyfriend. I really regret leaving my one particular friend in the dust for my  boyfriend. It was stupid. I really would rather look back on prom and see this moment where I was the epitome of teenager. Dancing, laughing, singing with friends. That would be glorious. Instead I watch an episode of Glee and only think of missed opportunities.  In the infamous words of The Dude, It's a bummer, man. 

Yes, I just worked the Big Lebowski into a prom blog.

 Here's the part I wouldn't take back: the break-up. The devastation. The hours of listening to Dashboard Confessional. I really found myself. It was that time that broke me down so that God could build me back up. I found out who I could be and who God wanted me to be so that I could meet this super cute dude & marry him. When I rewind in my brain, I know that gut wrenching hurt was momentary and that I needed it to purge me of a prideful idealism. An idol by any other name. 

80% of my music listening in College involved Chris Carrabba.

As Prom arrives for high schoolers, I hope they enjoy it. I really do. Enjoy it for me. Make good memories, not bad. I hope in the year 2021, you look back and say "I'm glad I did it the right way." Also, please dont' let your school play Friday. That's just common sense.

Better than Prom. <3

P.S. I'll let you fellow Thunderbirds decide who the cutest guy at YHS was. :)

The Bet.

**I put this on my notes on Facebook a few weeks ago and forgot to transfer it here. Enjoy.**

I have to write this before I forget it happened. Last week, the night before I had to go get some unpleasant procedures done at the doctor’s office, Cam & I went to our favorite little pub. My sister had the kids & we seized the opportunity to go on our monthly date. We sat upstairs with only three other couples. We watched the dodger game & looked through LA weekly together. We shared a plate of fish & chips. We were buzzing about the new Foo album. About 3/4 of the way through our meal, a guy from a few tables away approached us. “Can you help my girlfriend & I settle a bet?” We were surprised but laughed and said, “Sure! What’s the bet?” “Well, you guys are married, right?” “Yes.” I flash my band. “We were trying to guess how long you’ve been married.” “First you have to tell us your guess.” I smiled. “My guess is 2 years or less. Are we close?” At this point I looked at Cameron & grinned. “We’ve been married for 5 1/2 years.” The guy flew backwards, somewhat awestruck, looking at his girlfriend. “We were so off! You guys look so happy & you are still touching each other & talking!” I quickly threw in; “We also have two kids.” He then proceeded to point, mouth agape, at my husband. “You look like a rock star, not a dad! You have the hair & beard!” We all started cracking up. As he was going back to sit down, he told us “You don’t see couples like you guys. I’m impressed. Well done. Good luck!”
I think this little pub bet between a girlfriend & boyfriend was a really sweet moment. As far as our relationship goes, we needed that. It’s been tough with all my medical garbage stuff. There’s a reason “in sickness” is mentioned in vows. It takes a toll on a marriage. Cam & I promised to be faithful & honest & loving through all of that. God is good. Only with him in the middle of our marriage does it make sense. We can’t take any compliments without saying that it’s because of Jesus. Oh, and “Everlong”. None of this would have gone down without that little diddy. ;)

One of the best "Love Letters" I was never sent.

In all the frustration of the medical "stuff" (I use that euphemistically because I really shouldn't write the other word that I'm thinking), I have a rock solid husband.  He wrote a letter to our Doctor to ask what we needed to do next. I'm quite sure he never meant for it to be a romantic gesture, he was just "CCing" me. When I read the letter, I cried. It was the best love letter I was never sent.
Here are the best parts:

Dear Dr. Lloyd,
I am Leigh Brewer's husband, Cameron Brewer, we met a couple weeks ago. I'm concerned for Leigh, she's not getting any better and I'm at loss for what to do for her other than what I already have been doing. She's been hurting for over 3 months now with the same pains that are persisting currently. There hasn't been really any good days for her, she's pretty much always in pain. And at times the pain is debilitating where she is down half or most of the day.
 Do you know what our next steps should be? Leigh respects your advice and your ear to listen well. The reason why I am contacting you: I respect anyone that my wife respects and just need to get her some more help. I understand that there has been a couple CAT scans, an ultrasound, blood work, urine tests and probably couple other things I may be leaving out. Are there other things we can proceed too, in hope of pinpointing this problem down? Should I schedule a neurologist appointment? I also understand you are a Jesus loving man from what my wife has told me. I can't tell you what a relief it is to hear that my wife and I have you, like Paul had Luke. Thanks for being the doctor that's rebuilding my Love's health.
Cameron Brewer

Pretty good, right? There are little moments in our marriage where I realize how much I need Cameron. It's an incredibly intimate moment that breaks my heart open and makes me feel a love that only Jesus could give me to give to him. I remember after I had Mae that I was getting up to take my first shower (2 days after having her). I had to get in the shower & remove the bandage on my c-section incision. Fun, right? Well, I wasn't really able to. Here comes Cameron, he gets down on his knees and undoes the bandage. Slowly, lovingly and thoughtfully. Right there. Staring into the bloody gash that was only a couple days old. I even had staples in me. At my most unlovely, I was still his love. 

Ladies, if you're single, don't settle. Wait for a man like Cameron. I promise you that it's worth every little moment you wait. Dudes, if you're single, take note!