The difference between knowing and doing.

We are indeed much more than what we eat, but what we eat can nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are. 

-Adelle Davis 

Knowing nutrition is far different than living nutrition. I know what's good and what's bad. When I lost weight in college, I used the Prism program (lovingly referred to be fellow church members as "The Prison Program") with my Mom at church. The basis of the program was basically this: God made certain foods for our bodies & our bodies know how to process them. Man made certain foods  and they screw up our body. In this program I learned about omega oils, calories, food branding that made food appear to be "healthy", how to read food labels & that drinking water is paramount to weight loss. Once I became a mother, I put many of these ideas into practice- with my kids. I also researched heavily, choosing a very "natural" route for parenting. Breastfeeding until the wean themselves, making my own baby food, eating well instead of unnecessary doctor visits. Mae had thrush as a baby while I nursed her. Instead of antibiotics, my doctor recommended acidophilus for her and grape fruit seed extract for me. It worked! My approach to medical care is that God gave us certain plants, herbs, supplements on this Earth and I will use them. This might be TMI, but the last time I had a yeast infection, I cured myself with stuff in my fridge. Plain yogurt, garlic and Vitamin C. Cameron lovingly referred to me as a "Buffet healer".

I literally want to be Chris Traeger.

I have recommended numerous natural remedies to family and friends, I've also referred our doctor to several friends. This is a part of my "weight loss journey" that I've pondered quite a bit. Since I so heavily rely on natural remedies for myself and family, why would I not rely on good food for myself to have a whole body? Simple: it's easy to have the knowledge, hard to put it to practice.

I think it falls into two categories.

The first is well summed up in Matthew 7:5:

You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

I am good at seeing what everyone else needs to do to fix something. Call it big sister syndrome. Call it for what it is: sin nature. I will solve your problems while overlooking my own!

The second is, I like to share knowledge. I have a head full of it (pun intended) and I want you to know about it! Good music- I have a band you should listen to. History? Yeah, let me sum that up for you in relation to current events. I tend to be a know-it-all. I've toned it down a bit in the past few years. I think that's something that growing older does, you realize how much you don't know.

Now that I'm being held accountable for weight loss, I want to put into practice what I know. That way my knowledge holds authority and truth. It's not just me ranting like a crazy hippie.

***
I want to thank everyone for their kind words and encouragement from my last blog post. It's really been swell seeing the response. I'll keep everyone up to date on what I'm doing. So far I really like the balance of this program and the emphasis on healthy living. Not only do you track "points", you track your vitamin, oil, water, fruit/veggie and dairy intake. You also keep track of your activity during the day. I'm not hungry or grouchy. I'm content.

Fat Betty & I.

Betty Francis, Weight Watchers member.*

I am officially a card carrying member of Weight Watchers.
Official. It's printed out, I've got the app on my phone and I'm watching my points.

If you know me, you might have noticed, I'm overweight. I'm the chubby mom in stretch pants I never wanted to be.

I might have this outfit.

We'll start from 5th grade, as most girls are well aware is when the proverbial "S&^%" hits the fan concerning our self-image. My mother graciously called it an "awkward phase". I will call it getting beat with the awkward stick. I gained weight, got some little boobies, my two front adult teeth were roughly the size needed for tree chewing (while my canines had been pulled too early and the adult teeth were no-shows), I had warts on my hands & under my nails. Thank you Jesus for the baggy pseudo-grunge look of the mid-90's!

Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder!

By the time I was 12, I had thinned out. I still had a few warts on my hands, my teeth were still gigantic, my eyebrows were in a downward spiral towards "caterpillar". I stayed thin until I was 15. Then I got mono. That mono triggered fibromyalgia. I plumped up, got sick, ended up in home study for awhile.
I stayed about the same weight all through high school. I was far more academic than sports oriented. If you have seen me attempt any sport, you will understand. I recently went through several high school pictures with my reunion coming up. I realized how BIG I was. I found a picture of me in a high school play, Dracula.

Jennifer and I in a Tony award worthy scene.

My graduation pictures are painful to look at. I literally look like a blueberry. I'm in all blue and my last name was Berry.

My Freshman year of college was different than most, I lost weight. I lost about 40 pounds. I was skinny! I was cute! I was single! I could wear a size 6 jeans. In May of 2004 I met Cameron. I was still looking pretty svelte. In fact, he and I had two pairs of jeans that we shared. No joke. It was an interesting time in the music scene. 

Halloween 2004, Cameron is me. He's wearing my clothes and make-up.

I happily married Cameron in October 2005 (after a bit of weight loss and toning up). Then, in March 2006 I found out I was pregnant! It was a shock. By the time Josiah was born, I weighed 220 pounds. You read that right. I choose to blame 8 lbs. 15 oz on Josiah. The rest is due to Del Taco.

This was the day I was let go from my job, I was  about 26 weeks.
Yikes.

I did a good job to lose the Josiah weight. Breastfeeding really helped. I was down to about 160 when I got pregnant with Mae.

We love Seattle and we love each other! October 2007.

I was really, really good about not overindulging when I was pregnant with Mae. I craved things like strawberries and feta cheese (together). I wanted vinegar on everything. I only gained about 30 pounds (9 pounds of that being Mae!). I started to lose it again quickly with breastfeeding and following around a 20 month old. In November of 2008, I started noticing this weird pain I would get in my chest. It would radiate around my entire torso. It would happen at night after I had a yogurt or something with a high fat content. On New Year's Day, I was sitting on my parent's living room floor going through kid's clothes my cousin had just brought for Josiah. All of a sudden I had one of the attacks, but it was like labor pain. My mom sat and did Lamaze breathing with me until Cameron got there to take me to the hospital. They sent me home with vicodin for pain and instructions to see my doctor. They should have admitted me. My gallbladder was about to burst. After a weekend of being sicker than I've ever been, I went to see my doctor. I had nothing in my belly. My milk was drying up for Mae. I only drank water to keep my milk up. Everything I tried to eat was thrown back up (by the time I was in the hospital, I was throwing up bile). I went to see my doctor and she sent me to the emergency room for emergency surgery. I spent the next four days in the hospital waiting for surgeries, not eating, etc. In about a week I lost 14 pounds.

I highly recommend the gallbladder removal diet!

I can't vouch for what I'm wearing, but check out the Newsboys.

When I left the hospital, I vowed not eat poorly, to keep the weight off. My poor eating habits had landed me in the hospital at the ripe old age of 24.

Did I do it? Did I stick to it? Nah.

Feb. 2010.  Song of Solomon conference with Mark Driscoll.

That basically brings us up to date on my chubby girl history.

I hate to see myself in pictures. I refuse to get family portraits with me in them. I have gone through Cameron's phone and deleted pictures of myself. My FB pictures are deceiving. I usually only take face pics. I also have this annoying rash on my inner thigh from my legs rubbing together in the heat. It's gross. It makes me think of The Simpsons where Bart dreams of being the fattest man in the world & he brags "I wash myself with a rag on a stick".

I'm tired of buying clothes and having the buttons gape. I'm sick of finding new varicose veins. I want to look good in lingerie for my husband. I want to be the mom that can go in the bounce house with her kids without feeling like every part of her body is jiggling.

I'm ready to feel good about my body.

Here's where I'm at and what my goals are:


*Deep breath* 
I currently weigh 180 pounds. 
My next goal in 10% loss at 162 pounds
My end goal is 135 pounds. 

I'm ready for the challenge. I have no one to blame but me. I owe this to myself, my husband and my children. I especially owe this to God. He made me. I should take care of my body for that very reason. I'm done being selfish.



*If you're keeping up with Mad Men you know that this season Betty Francis (formerly Draper) has gained weight and is now attending Weight Watchers meetings. For the first time ever, I relate to Betty on the show.

My Mom recently watch the documentary, Food Matters on Netflix. After watching it she really encouraged me to and for my birthday gave me the needed "supplies" to start taking supplements & eating well.  The gist of movie is simple: you are what you eat. Your body has an incredible ability to heal itself if you put the right stuff into it. It's almost like someone planned it that way, right? ;)
My parents have been drinking juice with supplements in it for almost a year now and the proof is in the pudding. Both my parents have lost weight, feel good and excercise almost daily. My Mom went from being anemic and needed a blood transfusion to running two miles most days. She also recovered from anemia faster than the doctors expected, they thought her recovery would take months. It took only weeks. I've started doing the same juice regiment and other than the nerve pain I have, I'm feeling really good. I have more energy, I'm sleeping better and I'm eating less. The nurse at my most recent Doctor's appointment asked me what I was drinking (I had the bottle with me) and I told her. She asked that I write it down for her so she could follow suit! I figured that I should share the info with the rest of you in case you wanted to try it out.

1. Grapefruit Seed Extract. This stuff is incredible. It does it all. When Mae was a baby our pediatrician diagnosed her with thrush. Instead of antibiotics, he recommended that I take this (I was nursing her) and give her acidophilus in her juice. It cleared up her tongue and the yeast rash she had on her for a couple of weeks. Other than helping you by alkalizing your body, stimulating the immune system, and protecting you against infection, it can be used as a household (organic) cleaner, veggie cleaner, it can be given to pets and to manicure nails. For more info on it, visit here.
2. Liquid vitamins mixed into the juice.
3. Superfood supplements. By definition they are "calorie sparse but nutrient dense". You can read more about them here.  I even put a kid's dosage of superfoods into the kid's juice everyday (along with Udo's Oil).
4. Niacin. This doesn't go in the juice, but I take it along with my juice. Niacin (B-3), is a necessary nutrient that your body needs. Niacin is not the most plesant of supplements to take, however it is  a vital one. I took it for the first time in quite a while on Sunday night and felt like I had the worst sunburn and my joints were swollen. I've taken it everyday since and "the flush" has been better with every dosage. Niacin also helps you sleep and is helpful for those suffering from depression. I also recommend reading this website for more info.

5.  The Juice: Make sure you get a real 100% juice. Most juices put that on their labels in the front, but the Nutrition facts and ingredients say otherwise. The juice I'm drinking has nothing but water and real fruit juice in it. My Mom and Dad use juice from Fresh & Easy.

6. Wheat Grass. You can buy the pills or make your own juice if you have the time and desire. My Mom use to grow wheat grass and juice it herself.

7. Aloe Vera Juice. This helps to clean you out and detox you.  It can give you more energy, keep your immune system up and improve circulation. I have a gallon sized jug in my fridge. Learn more here.  

8. Udo's Oil. Your body needs essential fatty oils. I learned this in college when I did a diet and lost quite a bit of weight. Udo's is the best bang for your buck. I've noticed my skin improving, my nails growing better and my energy levels are up. I also put this in the kid's juice in the morning. Udo Erasmus (best name ever?) has tons of info on his site. **Make sure to stagger your dosage of fish oil and Udo's. If you take them at the same time, they cancel each other out**

9. Fish Oil helps with heart health, inflammation, arthritis, eyesight and others. You can read more here.

I usually mix my juice up in a 32 oz bottle and drink it throughout the morning/afternoon. It keeps me full and I'm not tempted to snack in the afternoon like I use to be.

I'll keep you posted on my health improvements. I'm enjoying them already. :)

He sympathizes with me, and this makes me strong.

I finally got in to see the Pain Management Specialist today. I was suppose to see one Doctor, but ended up seeing another. I'm still not sure how this happened, but as it turns out, I was in the right place.
Dr. Stark (or Dr. B, as his personal business cards are styled), is a man who loves Jesus & helping people. He also has his own line of vitamins of supplements, so he was on board with me continuing that area of my treatment. I've encountered a few doctors who look down on homeopathic treatments of any kind. I am not about to give up on that ascpect and just pop pills, especially after watching Food Matters. A fantastic documentary about the healing power of our own bodies coupled with the right nutrition. If you have Netflix watch instantly, you can watch it there. Dr. Stark listened to me, gave me a prescription for my Fibroylgia (a trial to see if it helped anything), referred me to a urologist for an exam to see if I have interstitial cystitis and finally recommended that I have an MRI done on my brain because he suspects I have  Multiple Sclerosis.
   I know that I wasn't signed in on the wrong sheet, I know that we made an appointment with a completely different person (who is named Dr. Braunstein, so no mixing up names). I know in my heart of hearts that I was put in the right office today to see the Doctor that I needed to see because Dr. Stark is accountable to a higher authority. God played receptionist today & put me in where I needed to be. I am so glad that I'm not in charge of all of this, something small like a Doctor Mix Up would have made me angry. Instead I am glad.
 My neighbor came up and asked me if I was "scared" with the possible diagnosis. I can honestly say that I am not. In any capacity. I'm sure if this is the case I am going to feel sore, tired, and perhaps a little overwhelmed sometimes, but I am not scared. Again I can chalk that up to gratitude. Gratitude to the God who made me and knows everything about me. I know that MS is manageable, gets better while you're pregnant (interesting, right?) and something quite a few people live with.

I feel like we're finally getting somewhere and receiving answers. I am beyond glad for that.

I have been reading Morning and Evening since January as my devotional. This morning's reading was somehow spot on.

Though He were a Son, yet learned He obedience by the things which He suffered."—Hebrews 5:8.

We are told that the Captain of our salvation was made perfect through suffering, therefore we who are sinful, and who are far from being perfect, must not wonder if we are called to pass through suffering too. Shall the head be crowned with thorns, and shall the other members of the body be rocked upon the dainty lap of ease? Must Christ pass through seas of His own blood to win the crown, and are we to walk to heaven dryshod in silver slippers? No, our Master's experience teaches us that suffering is necessary, and the true-born child of God must not, would not, escape it if he might. But there is one very comforting thought in the fact of Christ's "being made perfect through suffering"—it is, that He can have complete sympathy with us. "He is not an high priest that cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities." In this sympathy of Christ we find a sustaining power. One of the early martyrs said, "I can bear it all, for Jesus suffered, and He suffers in me now; He sympathizes with me, and this makes me strong." Believer, lay hold of this thought in all times of agony. Let the thought of Jesus strengthen you as you follow in His steps. Find a sweet support in His sympathy; and remember that, to suffer is an honourable thing—to suffer for Christ is glory. The apostles rejoiced that they were counted worthy to do this. Just so far as the Lord shall give us grace to suffer for Christ, to suffer with Christ, just so far does He honour us. The jewels of a Christian are his afflictions. The regalia of the kings whom God hath anointed are their troubles, their sorrows, and their griefs. Let us not, therefore, shun being honoured. Let us not turn aside from being exalted. Griefs exalt us, and troubles lift us up. "If we suffer, we shall also reign with Him."

I will lay hold of these thoughts in this time. A difficult time physically, emotionally and mentally. I (and my family) are only being prepared for better things to come.