Thirst & Comfort.

  Last night I could not sleep. I was perfectly happy though, to lay in bed, time to myself and watch 30 Rock (It might have been the happy medicine coma that I was in, I got a new prescription that works last night). Finally around 1:00 AM, I could hear shuffling of feet. Josiah walked in and assuming I was asleep, began searching my nightstand (or "sleeping desk" as he once called it) for a glass of water. I knew what he was looking for and I finally piped up after watching my very sleepy, very cute little man search in vain.  I told him to climb in next to Daddy and I'd get him some water. While I was in the kitchen getting him a bit of water, I was hit with the vivid memory of going into my own parent's room and searching for water on my Mom's nightstand. I recall thinking that I was so stealth-like and tip-toeing in there only to have my Mom's seemingly asleep arm shoot out from bed, grab the glass and hand it to me. Now that I have my own children, I am aware that there is a law of physics that makes it impossible for small people to be quiet. This would hold especially true in the home I grew up in. The floors creaked like a haunted house.
 While I was filling up Josiah's cup, I was filled myself with a great sense of nostalgia. Such a comforting thing to creak across a floor, past siblings still asleep and be "nourished" even while my Mom wasn't awake. I can still feel the mason jar's raised bevels along the neck while I took a drink. It was a countless number of times, but to me it's one solid memory, one big comfort in my childhood.
I wonder if Josiah will have the same? If someday the feeling of tile under bare-feet and a plastic cup (no glasses for us on this tile floor in precarious places!) will remind him of a nighttime solace years earlier?

I hope so.

"TIME"

   A couple of weeks ago I watched an episode of American Masters about Jeff Bridges. I love having our "old fashioned" TV antenna and waiting for something to come on and having to watch it with commercials, it's so retro. I think I appreciate the show more if I can't pause it or fast forward through it.

    While discussing his life growing up with his actor parents, Dorthy & Lloyd Bridges, he mentioned something his mother would do for each of her children. She had what she called "Time" for each of them, "if you were her child", as Mr. Bridges put it, "she would spend an hour with you doing whatever you wanted". Brilliant I thought! She would dress up, play ball, or read. The child dictated how the hour was spent. This offered up a little challenge to me. A germ of an idea for raising my own children. It reminded me of the sweetness of time spent alone, or doing what I wanted to do with my parents. Being one of four children made one on one time rare and special. I think that I should start with my two and ask what they want to do. Sounds dangerous, doesn't it?

   Mrs. Bridges also gave her children diaries she had kept of their lives up until their 21st birthdays. She would give them all the writings on their birthday. What a treasure! I'm going to head out to Michael's buy two journals for each kid. I'm a big fan of the written word being passed along.
    Being sick has taught me to get down on my kid's level more often. I feel a certain relief when they are here with me, available to snuggle and love. Its a therapy in and of itself. Josiah is a caretaker to the core and he loves to bring me things that he thinks I need (especially Capri Suns, I hate Capri Suns, but he's convinced they will cure my kidney problems). Being trapped at home has also seen me get more creative with time and I recently shared my wedding album with Mae. She poured through it, mentioning more than once that I was a princess (To see myself through her eyes!).  We've also been more likely to print craft projects, watch old cartoons and dig out board games. Josiah and I have also discovered the BBC program (or programme if you're British), Doctor Who.
I know that it's hard work to have little kids, I also know that it's harder work to have teenagers. I'm going to savor this time and hopefully minster to their little hearts by the grace of God so that when they are teenagers, they have a solid place to go to.
Does the idea of "Time" for each child or keeping a book of their growing up appeal to anyone else? I'm excited to let the ink flow and the imaginations run wild. Not only have I learned to abide from the Dude, I've also learned how to be a better mother from the Dude's mother. ;)

Mae went shopping with Cameron and came back with a Little Mermaid swimsuit.
She will not remove it. I think it's fusing with her body.